"...What sucks was the fact that I couldn't spell...
Jack: ...On youporn.com! And my mom--
Alex: youporn.com didn't exist when you were 12, Jack.
Jack: It was on DICKS.com, because I was gonna search for baseball gloves, so I went to dicks.com... It was NOT baseball gloves!
Alex: Dude, what sucked--what sucks was the fact that I couldn't spell when I was younger, so uh, I was trying to get a Hot Mail account, but I typed it M-A-L-E.
Alex: Yeah! Hotmale.com.
Jack: What did you see?
Alex: (shrugs) Buncha good lookin' dudes.
Jack: And then you went to dicks.com and your mom was like 'What the fuck?! Are you...'
Alex: 'What are you doin', son?' 'I'm looking up sporting goods.' Aha, YEAH!
Jack: (To the audience) You guys laugh, but this is a true fuckin' story.
Alex: (laughs) I know, fuck you guys!
Jack: You guys are perverted! ... I'm spilling my HEART out to you right now, and you're just laughing.
Alex: We're trying to confess our secrets! Our darkest secrets, and you guys are fuckin' laughing at us! Ugh!
Jack: COME ON!
Alex: UGH! Losers! (grins)